The other day I signed up for North Korean email, and found it included a great gimmick. If you go to North Korea’s one and only website The North Korean Friendship Center you will discover, not only the glory of the great leaders midi chorus, but the plethora of interactive web elements that launched North Korea into 1997!
One of these interactive web elements is a login, which will give you access to the states special brand of news and a free email account, which will supposedly allow you to contact anyone you want using the state approved email. While visiting the site, be sure to bask in the glory of North Korea by catching up on important news worthy events like, “Spirit of national independence” “Russian performance boosts bilateral friendship” and of course “America is Evil”.
Since the launch of Google’s Gmail and Yahoo’s Ymail other email providers have been jumping on the bandwagon giving out incentives to subscribers at no extra cost. Being the hip kids that they are, North Korea is not one to shy away from a perfectly good bandwagon. There’s only one feature Kmail offers, but its not being offered by any other email service on the planet. That feature is total 100% inaccessibility. You can’t check your email, and you can’t use it to say hi to grandma. However in this day of convenience who needs to check their email at all when North Korea will do it for you?
I have been assured by their oddly worded FAQ that “The security of user information is fully guaranteed” and they regard it as their duty to protect the user’s privacy. This privacy policy goes so far into making sure our privacy is not invaded, that we ourselves can’t even access our mail! The only people who can access it is the privacy policy approved, workers of the propaganda industry in North Korea. Now that’s privacy!
I feel so secure with their “What you don’t know, won’t oppress you” policy, that I don’t even bother giving my real address to junk mail senders anymore, I give them the state approved, totally secure Kmail account. Right now email is coming in and the North Koreans are steadily at work creating my responses and sending them out. I don’t even have to lift a finger!
Let’s take a look at what might be happening:
to: joel
If you want to eliminate your debts and financial problems you are the right place, and it’s free, why wait? Click here to get more information!
Dear Natalie,
Thank you for showing me, Joel, your service, however since the glorious leader has eliminated our need to worry about financial debt, I will not be needing it. ALL HAIL OUR GLORIOUS LEADER.
- Joel
to: joel
It’s time for you to become a much bigger man fast. Introducing our new triple strength MaXXxxLength 3 Penis Enlargement Formula where you can add up to five full thick inches of pure manhood in 60 days or less.
Dear P3nizPro
Our glorious leader has granted me a penis that the capitalists envy. These pills will have no effect on me because I am already 5 inches in full man hood because of the glorious leader and his socialist plan for unified penis enlargement.
All Hail Kim Jong Il!
Having an email account I never have to worry about checking is so freeing! I feel spoiled when I realize that all the hard work of writing responses and crafting replies is totally eliminated. I can sit back, relax and drink my state approved drink. They say communism is a oppressing and hard system to live in, but from what I can see it’s all about luxury and getting pampered! All hail the glorious Kmail!
