Dear Sir,
My name is Joel Friesen and I am writing to you today to ask you for employment, because I’m bored.
Three years ago I won $13.8 million in the Super-7, since then I have spent my life of leisure sipping cocktails from the nape of girls bodies and swimming in pools filled with champagne. Surprisingly, this gets dull really fast.
I talked to my shrink, and he suggested I pick up where I left off in my old life, working in the machine shop, on the band saw, making acrylic coat racks. FORGET THAT! No way am I going back there! Especially since I now own the company, fired my exboss and gave my buddies a raise, they see me more as a friend than a coworker.
So after some deep soul searching, I realized that your profession is where I’d like to try and alleviate my boredom.
Although I am not trained, and I’m doing this on a whim, there are benefits to hiring a multi millionaire:
- I don’t need the money, so I’ll work for whatever the minimum wage is these days.
- I’ll hardly be there, I’ll probably be out taking lunch most of the time to be honest.
- If I like the business, I can easily be an investor.
- I have several millionaire friends. All bored, and all looking to invest money.
My shrink thinks this will be a good move for me, and if we do this right it can be a win/win situation for both of us. I get to do something during the day and you get a willing worker with wads of cash.
Thank you for your time
July 24th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Wow, lucky you. I dream about winning money daily and somehow I can imagine what it would be like not to have to worry any more and to have everything you’ve ever dreamed of. I can understand in a dreamy sort of way how easy it would be to get bored after awhile. I attempted to sell my soul on ebay for a buy it now price of $1,000,000.00 but was booted off by ebay because selling your soul is a violation of their policy. I actually had somewhere around 15 bids and 39 people watching my listing. I thought for a split second there that I might actually get to quit my job and move closer to my father to take care of him, but I should have expected with the luck I always seem to get, that something would go wrong. Hang in there, hey I’ve got a great idea, why don’t we switch places, oh let’s say for 20 years or so? I can be wealthy and you can be miserable????? Miserably busy that is and just plain miserable, but look at it this way, you wouldn’t be bored.
Good Luck-
July 30th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Thanks Emma!
You know, being a pretend millionaire isn’t that easy. There are a lot of pretend functions I have to attend, fake dignitaries I have to host. It’s not a lot of fun. Some times I wish I was pretend poor again… Ah those were the days!