Hello, my name is Joel Friesen, I am a professional criminal lawyer despite the fact I am only 14 years old.
After graduating high school at 8 and attending Yale school of Law until 12 I am now seeking legal employment with a forward thinking firm, bold enough to understand my contributions as a criminal lawyer.
As I am a child prodigy, my intelligence is extremely high, as is the “cute factor” which is important in deliberation, as you can imagine. Aside from completing the Yale law in an accelerated program, I have accomplished many tasks that a child of my age could claim to be impressive. I have learned to speak Japanese Fluently, I am top of my class in astro-physics, and I have started a successful web design business.
I understand that hiring a child can be disconcerting, even a child prodigy such as myself. This is why I don’t ask for very much in compensation, for the first 6 trial months. Though I am an adult mentally, I have the wants and the needs of a child. I require long lunches to play baseball and tag. But I don’t require much money, about $15 a week in allowance should be enough. Also I collect Pokemon cards, and as a signing bonus i’d ask for a fresh box of cards, as well as a gameboy. These are not unreasonable requests and I’m sure that you’ll see I’m eager to prove my worth as an employee.
Thank you for your time,
Joel Friesen
