Good Morning
My name is Joel Friesen and I am 7’ 6″ tall at 379 lbs. I am writing to you today because I feel I could be a great service to your business because of the advantage of my large frame. I’m sure a large company such as yours has often had the need for some one of my gigantic stature. I can reach for things on the high shelves and screw in light bulbs without the assistance of a large step ladder. This alone could save you hundreds of dollars in man hours each year, and reduce large bills for ladders and tall reaching devices.
I don’t particularly have many skills that aren’t related to me being tall, I can’t type well, or file papers, I have no organizational skills of any sort and I don’t particularly make great decisions. However I do know how to be tall.
Since leaving the traveling circus I have been employed with since I was a 6 foot tall, 4 year old boy, I often dreamed of the day I’d be a huge success on TV or the big screen. My previous work experience as a sideshow attraction gave me the ability to comfortably perform in front of large crowds. My day would usually start of in the morning when the curtains of my trailer would open to a large group of audience members and a barker, and I would get out of bed and be tall in front of them while going about my daily routine. In the evening, I’d stop being tall for them and just be tall privately, like I normally am.
Being tall is tough work and not everyone is cutout for it. Many tall people, born tall, have become shorter by a surgical operation called “Tyhridaltachiectomoty”. Basically they remove the tall persons shins, and regulate a series of spinal botox injections three times a day for the rest of their life. To permanently stunt their growth, leg braces are fitted with variable weights and a crushing device is employed while they sleep. This assures them they have a normal life, being short. I however am proud to be professionally tall, and I would make a great addition to your great team.
In conclusion I feel my skills in being tall are going to be a huge asset to you and your large company, and I look forward to your reply.
Yours in Friendship,
Joel Friesen
